Not Everybody Is The Same, So Your Pitch Shouldn't Be.

Another swiped from one of my favourite sites.

The Biscuit Factory Story (making assumptions, other people's perspectives, individual needs and motivations)

This is a true story. Some years ago the following exchange was broadcast on an Open University sociology TV programme.

An interviewer was talking to a female production-line worker in a biscuit factory. The dialogue went like this:

Interviewer: How long have you worked here?

Production Lady: Since I left school (probably about 15 years).

Interviewer: What do you do?

Production Lady: I take packets of biscuits off the conveyor belt and put them into cardboard boxes.

Interviewer: Have you always done the same job?

Production Lady: Yes.

Interviewer: Do you enjoy it?

Production Lady: Oh yes, it's great, everyone is so nice and friendly, we have a good laugh.

Interviewer (with a hint of disbelief): Really? Don't you find it a bit boring?

Production Lady: Oh no, sometimes they change the biscuits...

Seems thanks go to a Shirley Moon for this story, who also points out the following lessons within it:

·                        Do not impose your own needs and ambitions on to other people who may not share them.

·                        Don't assume that things that motivate you will motivate someone else.

·                        Recognise that sources of happiness may vary widely between people.

EVER BEEN TOLD 'THAT'S JUST THEY WAY WE DO IT'?

The monkey story (company policy, organizational development, group behaviour, group beliefs, inertia and assumptions).

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.

Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it.

Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water.

Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water.

Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.

To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.

The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one.

The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well.

Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys that have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.

Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.

Why not?

Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been around here.

And that's how company policy begins ...

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS; UP AND DOWN

An old hill farming crofter trudges several miles through freezing snow to his local and very remote chapel for Sunday service. No-one else is there, aside from the clergyman.

"I'm not sure it's worth proceeding with the service - might we do better to go back to our warm homes and a hot drink?.." asks the clergyman, inviting a mutually helpful reaction from his audience of one.

"Well, I'm just a simple farmer," says the old crofter, "But when I go to feed my herd, and if only one beast turns up, I sure don't leave it hungry."

So the clergyman, feeling somewhat ashamed, delivers his service - all the bells and whistles, hymns and readings, lasting a good couple of hours - finishing proudly with the fresh observation that no matter how small the need, our duty remains. And he thanks the old farmer for the lesson he has learned.

"Was that okay?" asks the clergyman, as the two set off home.

"Well I'm just a simple farmer," says the old crofter, "But when I go to feed my herd, and if only one beast turns up, I sure don't force it to eat what I brought for the whole herd..."

From which we see the extra lesson, that while our duty remains regardless of the level of need, we have the additional responsibility to ensure that we adapt our delivery (of whatever is our stock in trade) according to the requirements of our audience.

Some people ruin a perfectly good event by not adjusting to the environment they find themselves in and / or changing market conditions

LEADERSHIP

The soldiers and the trench story

The story goes that sometime, close to a battlefield in the US, over 200 years ago, a man in civilian clothes rode past a small group of exhausted battle-weary soldiers digging an obviously important defensive position. The section leader, making no effort to help, was shouting orders, threatening punishment if the work was not completed within the hour.

"Why are you are not helping?" asked the stranger on horseback.

"I am in charge. The men do as I tell them," said the section leader, adding, "Help them yourself if you feel strongly about it."

To the section leader's surprise the stranger dismounted and helped the men until the job was finished. Before leaving the stranger congratulated the men for their work, and approached the puzzled section leader.

"You should notify top command next time your rank prevents you from supporting your men - and I will provide a more permanent solution," said the stranger.

Up close, the section leader now recognized General Washington, and also the lesson he'd just been taught.

This story is allegedly based on truth. Please forgive the mythical possibility of the above attribution, but the story's message is more important than its historical accuracy.

I particularly like this anecdote, as I have been described as somebody 'who is willing to get his hands dirty, led by example and supported the sales teams that reported into him'.

If there is one phrase that is guaranteed to send me into a hissy fit of biblical proportions, it would be 'it's not my job'.

Communication

I read an anecdote recently, which was used to help illustrate the importance of communication; this one made me smile.

The blind man and the advertising story

A blind man was sitting on a busy street corner in the rush-hour begging for money. On a cardboard sign, next to an empty tin cup, he had written: 'Blind - Please Help'.

No-one was giving him any money.

A young advertising writer walked past and saw the blind man with his sign and empty cup, and also saw the many people passing by completely unmoved, let alone stopping to give money.

The advertising writer took a thick marker-pen from her pocket, turned the cardboard sheet back-to-front, and re-wrote the sign, then went on her way.

Immediately, people began putting money into the tin cup.

After a while, when the cup was overflowing, the blind man asked a stranger to tell him what the sign now said.

"It says," said the stranger, "It's a beautiful day. You can see it. I cannot”

This story illustrates how important choice of words and language is when we want to truly connect with and move other people. 

Who Would Be An Event Organiser

WHO WOULD BE AN EVENT DIRECTOR

I am an event director. Want to know what an event director does? This is an embellished version of somebody else’s apt description.

I have unlimited resources at my disposal. I can move your exhibition space to front and centre, even though it has taken you seven months to decide to commit and the hall was all but sold out 3 moths ago. Failing which, I will carve up a 100 sq. m. island stand to give you the 12 sq m shell scheme you crave, with two sides open, south facing and independent climate control.

All visitors will be cattle prodded in the right direction, to form an orderly, single file queue past your stand, to be individually scanned or snubbed.

I always keep at least 5 spare meeting rooms and Tardis-like storage facilities under my desk.  I can make any of my rooms larger or smaller, depending on your needs. I will naturally remove any supporting pillars from your meeting space and will install windows in every room as needed.

Unfortunately the 'river view' is not scheduled to arrive until day two of the program, for which I sincerely apologise; however, I will move the conference room two feet to the left to accommodate your request by the end of day one, although the event is only next week.

I completely agree that it is inconceivable that we should have any other groups booked into the hotel during our event. And the additional breakout rooms you asked for this morning, for tomorrow's conference, will be added to the hotel by the end of today.

Naturally it will be no problem to turn the open seminar session for 150 (classroom style) into a hollow square for 300, with rear screen projection, simultaneous Japanese translation and satellite hook-up during the 15-minute coffee break. Everybody in or around the venue will be made to observe a reverential silence whilst you are presenting.

Due to space constraints, and the fact that your final program bears no resemblance whatsoever to the initial seminar layout, that was contractually agreed, I will accommodate. I'll have to suspend the lunch buffet from the ceiling, above the plenary session, then suck the gravity out of the room - not a problem.

I've located the boxes that the headline sponsor sent last month; sent under somebody’s mother's maiden name, to the other hotel down the street. Again I apologise for not having found them sooner.

In answer to all your questions, it is of course understood that I am telepathically aware of all your speakers needs. I'll set up an overhead, LCD panel, dual slide projectors, two screens, laser pointer, podium microphones, two table top microphones, podium knock-out switch, timer and blue M&Ms for everyone; which I've negotiated at no extra charge, just in case they are needed.

Additionally, it goes without saying that an A/V technician, engineer, paramedic and I will be underneath your table for the duration, in case you need anything else (or just need somebody to kick periodically).

Needless to say it does mostly have it's 'up' days, with a majority of our clients being well organised and reasonable themselves. These are the days which have kept me in the business and occasionally taking the rest of it on the chin.